Congratulations to Amanda Senior our winner of the SBW Winter Writing Contest for the hilarious “Writer’s Resolution”! She read the poem in its entirety at the March Meeting to a great reception.
Writer’s Resolution
by Amanda Senior
I promised myself I wouldn’t. I’d made a New Year’s resolution.
Not to write a brand new novel everytime I had a notion.
Disaster struck when a new idea gripped me, it would leave me not.
Opened up my virgin Moleskine, nabbed a pen, started to plot.
An epiphany of characters, diverse, rounded, profound.
How could I forgive myself, if I didn’t write this down?
Chapter one basically wrote itself. Two, a jaunt in the park.
Three took no time at all. Four was just a lark.
My laptop keys tap danced a supercalifragilistic-y beat.
Calendar days peeled away, while stuck in my ergonomic seat.
Perfectly placed scenes with wonderful pacing; the gripping tension, taut.
Big five publishers would want this book: a bidding war to be fought.
They’ll make it a bestseller. Call me Toni Morrison, Stephen King.
A promising, unrivalled, literary career to begin.
Great master of prose under my belt, more genres, I subtly straddled.
Sexy knight in need of a steed? A palomino saddled.
Sprinkled in a fairy colony, winged beasts, then Excalibur, too.
We all adore a Guinevere, so I infused romantic goo.
The middle did not disappoint, due to the horror I injected.
A sleepy village of gory zombies, of course, plague infected.
Added a stab of Sci-Fi medicine, elements of mystery,
Folklore, and bitchin’ vampires–based on my family history.
Decided to edit in a “who dunnit,” a writer’s trusty friend.
Captured readers’ avid attention, couldn’t wait to reach the end.
Right now it’s grown to a million words. Oh, this stupid idea!
Do I self-publish this mess? It won’t fit on shelves from Ikea.
Resentful of my wasted year, I should plot and not be a pantser.
Stick to the plan like good scribes should, and not go out all gangster.